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HELLLLOOOOOO! *in my best Barry Hype voice.
How's everyone doing this fine morning? 
UberSoca Cruise 2016 missed me like a full bus because I am not an ocean lover and have always been dead set against cruises but after seeing all the videos and pictures posted, I vowed to never again let my fears get in the way of creating wonderful memories.  

This was not as easy as it looked.  The website wasn't user friendly and from day one of my booking (March 23rd, 2017) I've been calling customer service. It was to the point that everyone knew my voice and I was often ashamed when I heard the same names assisting me but I didn't care, I was a paying customer.  

The initial booking included a $250 nonrefundable fee per person and any additional purchases such as Uber Soca Cruise merchandise, the infamous preparty, any VIP experiences, prepurchased liquor, etc. There was an option to pay in full or make installment payments. If you chose to make installment payments, your deposit would be added to any additional purchases made and that would be due immediately.  The balance of your trip would then be divided into the months remaining up to the last payment October 1st.  So if your booking was done in June, your installment payment would be higher than ones who booked in April and so on. Each payment was automatically deducted from a credit/debit card left on file.
The line moved so quickly I was was shocked. There was never a wait for any of the multiple stops such as check in, dropping off of luggage, picture taking, or freebies given. From the fast paced boarding process, I should have known what was in store... Walking onto the ship you were given an itinerary booklet that I will show as the days are described and an UberSoca Cruise lanyard. There was a DJ playing music as soon as we entered the boarding area and as we left this area, there was more music onboard the ship. The first station I noticed was a bar and to the right of the bar were two white walls that everyone who entered the ship signed in colored dry erase markers.  Naturally I signed 'DCARNIVALBABY' on BOTH walls... Carnival and UberSoca crew members told us that we wouldn't have access to our rooms until 3/3:30pm. GASP!  Although we declined to check luggage we refused to tote luggage along this bacchanal boat, so we didn't do as instructed and went straight to our cabin. We got to our cabin (which was ready), dropped off our luggage, took our keys and were ready to cruise!

So as people boarded the ship, hubby and I found friends. At or about 3:30 maybe 4pm, we were being hurried out of common areas to participate in a mandatory safety drill.  I KNOW, I'm a mother and I know all too well how important these drills are and how serious I should take them but I felt like nothing could save my life in the event that the boat were to sink so I and some friends hid in their cabin and drank straight through the drill.  We didn't hear a word.... an with that, I knew this cruise would be one for the books! The "SAIL AWAY PARTY" started immediately after the safety drill and everyone just started to disappear as the night fell. Everyone disappeared because they left to get ready for the "WHITE PARTY".  After the white party, you got to pick your poison at either of the TWO after parties.  Each after party was carded to end at 5am but you know my Caribbean people.  I woke up for breakfast Friday morning and when I say morning, I mean I was eating breakfast a little after 9am and seeing people only now leaving after parties in their all white. NAH! Clearly these beasts weren't going to "SOCASIZE".. But oh yes, many were.

As we ate, we began to hear the music starting for SOCASIZE, I ran to join the class that started at 9am sharp! By 9:10 I was breathing heavy. At 9:15 I heard the instructor say that this was the warm up... The warm up? At exactly 9:23 I was over it.  I was done and now watching the SOCASIZE class. They were clearly trying to kill me and I'm not about that life.  I bummed around, got myself a stiff drink and waited for the football tournament (in full exercise attire like I did anything). Football (soccer) was on the top deck and prepared well. There were nets to protect the ball from going into the sea, goal stations and all.  Freeze International emceed the event and that in itself was tears. Jokes upon jokes.  Seeing as I was only drinking and spectating, we took pics!
(DCARNIVALBABY and WILLOW of iChunes Entertainment)
After the football tournament, we had to get cleaned up and changed for the "RUM & WATER POOL PARTY". The pool party was good but we couldn't get too comfortable because we paid to go to the private "VIP COCKTAIL PARTY".  By now we realized we still had four events left for the night and we had to do more than one 'costume change', so we had to strategize.  We cleaned up again and changed for the VIP COCKTAIL PARTY as well as the "THEATER TURN UP" better known as the Majah Hype Comedy show.  The original plan was to go to the Majah Hype show in our pajamas but time was against us.  

The cocktail party had unlimited finger foods and mixed drinks that were served, top shelf liquor by request at the bar and entertainment.  This private event was held for two hours and honestly, I expected more for our buck.  It was the only thing at an additional cost outside of the money spent on the cruise so my expectations were high.  It was a laid back event that didn't really fit into the fast pace of the cruise but we make the best of everything! Should I make it to UberSoca Cruise 2018, I would do the VIP COCKTAIL PARTY again.  As the room filled toward the end of the event, we dashed out to join the line for the comedy show.
The majority of the ship wanted to see this comedy show and it was on a first come first serve basis.  No tickets.  No sign up. Basically, no order.  In the beginning, there was an orderly line but as the time came near for the doors to became a crowded mess.  We were lined up by a jewelry store and I know their fingers were hovering over the panic buttons in fear of being robbed because I don't believe anyone was sober and let's just say we were getting antsy waiting for the doors to open and forgot to use our 'inside voices'. When the doors finally did open, we scattered about the theater and rushed for seats like wild ants.  We got to hear some back in times hip hop and R&B.  It was a good house party type of vibe before the comedy show started. Majah Hype was as good as expected and he brought some friends (Hector and Mitzy). His finale was a pillow fight that ended in a party. Same as last year I heard. Seeing as I expected both the pillow fight and party and had two other parties to attend, the crew dipped and ran to the dining hall to have one last bite before we had to drink and fete again. (This is literally how you have to eat on this ship, *in a hurry/ on the go).
(DCARNIVALBABY and Majah Hype)
After dinner was time to change AGAIN into our pajamas for the "UBERJAMMY JAM".  There were onesies, lingerie, VS lounge wear and pasties in this fete.  I know men were in their glee.  Lots and lots of eye candy for both sexes. After the JammyJam, there was a choice of two after parties AGAIN. Choosing which party to give up was the torture on this boat. 
(Quick elevator ride)

(Geo from Joy's Roti Delight and DCARNIVALBABY)
HEEELLLOOOOOOOOO *In my Barry Hype voice AGAIN.  We have docked in Mexico. Instructions were given but once again ignored, sorry Barry but by the time the instructions came we were already eating, drinking and being merry.  No one had time for that.  What I DID hear was that we had to return to the ship for 9pm and that each person needed 1 piece of ID and our room key to get back on to the ship.  I exited the ship around 12/12:30 and walked about 5/10 minutes to the jouvert if so much.  The Wi-Fi was tun ALL THE WAY UP at the jouvert which was 1,000% better than the Wi-Fi we paid for on the ship.  Once you entered the jouvert you were drenched with paint. Nice! What wasn't nice was the stench of the paint.  It was best described by a friend as toilet water paint.  I don't know where this paint was mixed or what water was used to mix it, but the smell was offensive.
(now catching myself after the jouvert)
There was an unlimited supply of complementary signature Rum Punch given to jouvert patrons and I played greedy and mixed the Hennessy that I was drinking with the people Rum Punch. The jouvert vibes were nice BUT I remember clearly that I sat on the floor and being done and IT WAS ONLY 5PM! Officer Hubby escorted me back to the ship and I overheard him telling friends that he was going back to the ship to put the 'baby' to bed. I was safely put on board and not left behind in Mexico.  I ate, bathed and was in bed by 6pm.  On my way back from eating, I remembered a girl across the hall being wheeled back to her room by two friends and a ship crew member in a wheelchair!  When I finally woke up the stories were bananas.  Hubby was sure that people were left in Mexico.  Remember, we all had to be on board by 9pm.  He got back to the ship around quarter to 9 but he said that the amount of people that he passed by on the 'road' to the boat that were passed out was ridiculous and he knows they didn't make make it back.  For their sake, I hope they did. It had endless people returning to the ship in wheelchairs and ambulances.  Thank God I did my walk of shame privately. Lol.
"MIDNIGHT MAS" started at 11 however half the ship was in an utter mess from jouvert.  I got in bed by 6 and jumped up minutes to 12. Could you imagine the ones who got in at or around 9? But guess who was out partying and never slept.... Officer Hubby. When I jumped up, I was panicked.  How could DCARNIVALBABY miss the only fete on the cruise with a carnival costume theme? I heard voices outside and had to think quick. I threw my wire bra over my breasts and pasties and ran to the door for somebody, ANYBODY to tie me up. Luckily it was a friend.  I was tied down and secured in no time.  After the girls were secure, I put on the rest of my costume in record speed and was off.  As expected, the crowd was small because everyone was done from jouvert but the music was very nice so we stayed til a little after 4am.
(DCARNIALBABY and Ofc Hubby *the husband)
(Willow of iChunes Entertainment and DCARNIVALBABY)

(Decepticons/Autobots, I don't know but I was The Scarlet i #IslandPeopleMas Recycle)
There was once again two after parties to choose from.  This decision was easy for me, I went to the after party named "CABIN FEVER" hosted by ENFORCAS and FREEZE INTERNATIONAL. I stayed there until the room got too crowded for my wings.  The "ALL THE WAY HIP HOP PARTY" was the CABIN FEVER competitor.  As people left the hip hop party to come into Cabin Fever, I dipped.  I liked the intimacy it started off with in the beginning plus I was tired and beginning to see double.

By now, I've been drinking for what.... how many days and nights straight? For a person who's #1 beverage choice is water and literally running from one event to the next,  I was done DONE D-O-N-E.  At this point, I was cussing UberSoca Cruise. I cussed random people in the dining hall, my friends and husband.  I fine they was over doing it now man. I woke up to SOCASIZE AGAIN.  Thinking to, who has the energy for this?  I bent the corner an there was yet another full class!!! When I say I cussed people, please understand that it was all in good fun but I was truly in disbelief.  I never thought that "I" wouldn't be ready. I WAS NOT READY A-T  A-L-L-L-L-L.  Yes, I saw the itinerary.  Yes, I heard it's nothing but pace but Lord, there was no end to the savagery! Needless to say SOCASIZE got the side eye and the basketball tournament was cancelled because no one could make it.  There weren't enough 'able' participants.  I don't know if anyone made the mid morning/afternoon events which included the MINI GOLF TOURNAMENT, TALKING SOCA, NATURAL HAIR LINKUP (which I was told distributed free bundles) and the DESTINATION SHOWCASE. There was a full crowd for the "CHEF COMPETITION", Freeze International  hosted this event and it was great.  He is just as good an emcee as he is a DJ because although we weren't part of the competition, we were well entertained.  After the Chef Competition was over, do you know what happened? It became a SocaPopUpParty featuring DJ's Ana and Private Ryan.  That was it. Uber set me up. I didn't know what else to do but post a Facebook status because clearly I was being ignored when I said I was D-O-N-E on the ship.  I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that they turned a COOKING COMPETITION an all into a fete.  I was done. 
(Freeze International with DCARNIVALBABY)
After the pop up party, besides drinking and chillin there was nothing to do but organize my belongings because we had to dock in Miami in the morning and the Carnival Cruise Line crew had to be ready to kick us off their boat. The "MASQUERADE BALL" was held in both the Fantasy and Ecstasy dining halls.  The food was disappointing but the majority of people who attended brought their A games and were dressed very well. After both the 6:00 pm and 8:00 pm seatings were all wrapped up (which was by 11pm), we were back to the fetting. The grand finale started and THEY all partied the night away.  I couldn't make.
(looking crazy with my mask ON TOP of my head)
(The Mr and the Mrs)
The Wi-Fi on the boat was over priced. There is nothing wrong with paying your money for services as that's how it should be but the service was bad.  Some of the most asked questions on the boat after 'where are you' was 'you have service'? This however is not the problem so much of UberSoca, this issue is all Carnival Cruise Line.

It had some people who didn't like the food but I couldn't complain.  If ever I saw (or smelled) something that I didn't like there were many other options.  The food was repetitive but to be honest, we weren't eating for taste; taste was a plus.  We were eating to control our alcohol levels.  You know how you have a little alcohol with your food?  I think I can safely speak for many, myself included that we were eating food with our alcohol.

For those who purchased drinks, they were moderately priced.  Prepurchased bottles were actually cheaper once purchased from Carnival Cruise line and not from UberSoca Cruise's website..... BIG UP's to AMAZON.COM #ThatIsAll about that.

When I asked friends to compare their UberSoca 2016 to their 2017 experience they said:
*Ship - downgrade
*Food - downgrade
*Vibes - same
*Events - same
*Entertainment - same
*Will they be returning - THEY'RE ALREADY BOOKED!

D. A. M. M.
You see this program...
This is the Dat Ain't Missin Me program.
Just as it states, it's really not missing me!



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